Homeless?

I am wondering whether I should write this post, lest I invite responses that might mean well but end up ruffling my feathers! Sigh, but I guess a little honesty must prevail.

Recently I got to thinking .... where is my home? I am a Seremban girl, and after finishing university have always treated Seremban as my real home. But I have stayed in a rented place for the last 17 years in PJ. But have I stayed? Rather, I have come home to that place (moved 4 times) for the last 17 years. Most times I live out of a suitcase and make my home whereever people provide me a shelter. If not, I rent a hostel somewhere for the night.

Now, even the bed back home in Seremban is stranger to me. I toss and turn there. So, I asked myself ... where is my home?! I couldn't answer that question..... I left Seremban 20 years ago when I went to USM, actually.

I guess I am pretty much a homeless person these days!!! A stranger to many places. I feel it now when I travel so much, and I feel it now when maybe being a stranger is getting painful and a lonelier experience. Or is it that I have grown older and am not flexible enough for changing environments? I do not know!! All I know is that everytime I touch down in KLIA, I feel happy that I am coming home!!! But where is home?!!

Well, I know the answer I guess. Home is where the heart is! And my heart is with my "loved" ones .... and when I spend a quiet evening with my housemate (my soul sister) or with my family or with Hannah my pet duckling, .... or with my grandchildren, ..... and with my colleagues (my brothers and sisters) .... then I know I am HOME!!!!!

But it has been a difficult journey going away all the time from them!! Is this part of my cross?! (Please don't bother to answer that one!).