In The Name Of Love?!!

I must be very careful with this post lest I be misundestood. When I was away at the EARC in Indonesia, the Lord challenged me again about being the VOICE for Him in speaking out at things that cos His heart pain. Since September last year, that voice in me had stopped due to some painful reasons. Now I must revive again, I guess. But please know this voice is intended as a voice of love, not one of judgement!

There is one growing fear I am having amongst the people I work and minister amongst. For so long I have worried and grieved over many! For so long I have been furious over the many things done in the name of love. And here I woud like to highlight merely one.

If any of you are wondering why I am so "kepo". Let me just say that my heart has been broken many times when I have had to help in picking up the pieces, that I feel it is time to speak. Please pardon any harshness in language.

This is an excerpt of an sms that I never sent but was angry enough to compose :
"I really think you should examine ur moral integrity. Please keep ur hands n lips off girls u know only less than 4 months. Ur theology n personal behavior dun match! How cum u dun respect a NO?! Her body more important than her izzit?"

I wrote this after a friend repeatedly struggled in throwing off a persistent guy! And do you know how frightening it is for the recipient? Besides sometimes the response usually is, "I don't want to think about these things when I am with you. I feel very susah (got chinese word for it) if I don't hold your hands, or hug you or kiss you!" Pretty RECKLESS isn't it!? But they are safe mah, after all they have confessed their love, mah!? It is in the name of love!!!!!

I am worried because I hear many stories of guys and girls crossing lines in the name of love. I have seen many who promise eternal love, and within months ... everything frizzles out. But the scars they leave are so deep because they have violated physical lines that go beyond normal friends, and just short of having sex.

Let me ask you a question. If a person is just a mere friend, not yet your boyfriend or girlfriend, would you hold his/her hands? Would you keep giving him/her hugs that are reserved for a more special relationship? Would you kiss that person? Hey, notice that I said, you don't even call this person boy/girl friend. And even if the person responding is giving a weak "NO", why cannot respect ah?! And even if you did, guys aren't you supposed to be PROTECTING your woman in the same love as Christ who gave His life for the church? And women, what about the sacred reserving your body and nurturing depth in relationships?

I was once told by a student, "PhD, you don't understand. We will not have sex lah! But we have done everything shrt of having sex!" So is that what this is all about? Just not having sex? But doing everything else to soil someone else's body?! Would you like to have married a person who has been soiled in this way? Or are you just a mere SOILER?!

What about respect? What about patience? What about sacrifice? What about protecting love? Hey, cum on go read 1 Cor 13:1-8 lah! Do not mistake the false for the real thing. Don't use your hands and lips in distortion, in the name of love!!!

I speak harshly. Yes! But I am no stranger to the human weakness we all display. But can we be more accountable to one another and God!? Let us stop lying to ourselves. Let us also be men and women of integrity. Struggle we may, but let us try. Let us stop EXPLOITING. One of my students got married 3 weeks ago. His wife gave birth a week later after the wedding. I heard that he almost didn't want to marry her, and wanted her to have an abortion. How convenient, huh?! Use her body, have pleasure together, then cut and run!!!

Am I excusing the women? No! I am accusing both. Actually I am not accusing. I am PLEADING, let there be real love among us. Let us Not cheapen love by moving with our hands, lips and other parts of the body. Come, please major on the character and hallmark of love ~ giving, protecting, respecting, sacrificing!

I may be an old single, but I believe in relationships. I am a good old romantic at heart! But my heart has been broken too many times by those who have violated, ... all "in the name of love!" And worse yet, when after the soiling has been done, and the story leaks out, and many cover ups are attempted!! And the greatest is the lie ~ "It wasn't me, or it didn't happen!" Hey wake up lah!!! The scars are there, and in case you didn't know ~ the Lord knows all about it too.

Okay, I better stop cos I am getting carried away. I just finished freaking out yesterday over someone I knew who fell in the "name of love". But just to tell you that the VOICE IS BACK!! And I want you to know that in my weakness, I hope it is not a voice of judgement, but a voice of love!!

Come on, shoot me now!!!